Silly Little Hetalia Headcanons
by QuickSilverFox3
Summary: Written using 'Silly Little Hetalia Headcanons' on Tumblr. It's literally what it says on the tin. Rating will change.
1. Chapter 1

_All of the male nations have superhero boxers. Australia has Batman so that whenever he walks around with his pants off he can say "HELLO, MY NAME IS BRUUUCE"_

**Rated: K**  
Australia strutted through the building nodding calmly to the gobsmacked nations and attendants that he passed by. Pausing at the doors he composed himself for the briefest of moments before flinging them open.  
"G'Day mates!"

There was a long pause as everyone stared at the nation who only response was to grin widely and waved frantically at England.  
"Hi mum! How you doing?"  
England swore and slammed his head off of the table but before he could do anything to get the Australian out of the room Germany spoke up harshly.  
"Who ze hell are you?!"  
England's head made contact with the table again: This was what he had been trying so hard to avoid. Bruce's grin got even wider as he calmly stepped on to the table revealing to everyone that he was wearing no trousers.  
"Hello! My name is Bruce mates!" he crowed gesturing to his Batman underpants which were on full display. They all just stared at him in shock before America stood up and began to clap.  
"Dude! You're awesome!"  
"Thank you mate! I do try."

**Thanks for reading! If you have a headcanon that you want me to write then let me know! Or review anyway! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

2. _England isn't that bad a cook. He just puts marmite in EVERYTHING_

England was cooking. Almost every nation knew that this was cause for alarm as England's terrible cooking was worldly infamous. So to any of them it would come as a surprise that a nation was waiting at his table, admittedly they were actually sitting on the table so they could see but they were still waiting. Noah petted the kiwi bird that was perched on his wrist and crooned endearments at it in his native language.

"Here you are Noah!" England laughed bringing out a perfectly lovely plate of toast and setting it before the small chibi, twitching slightly when he took in Noah's position on the table.  
They instantly took a bite of it and their face turned a peculiar shade of greenish-grey.  
"You- forgot the- Marmite!" Noah managed to get out in between hacking coughs. Arthur's eyes widened in realisation and he quickly retreated into the kitchen and returned with a jumbo sized jar.  
"Here you go Noah!"  
"Thank you mama! I don't know why the other nations don't like Marmite. It tastes wonderful!"  
"Thank you my dear."

**Can I just say I love you all so much? I was expecting only one review but I got 4! I've been bragging all day so you can tell I don't get many reviews! hint hint ;) Also to encourage people, for every review I get for the new chapter I'll bring up the posting of the next chapter by a day :D**


	3. Chapter 3

_1. Norway is a bit of a slutty drunk and tends to keep better tabs on his alcohol consumption than the other Nordics because of this._

Norway was not pleased. All of the others were drinking alcohol like it was water and it annoyed him. But after what happened last time he really couldn't risk it happening again…

The lights flashed randomly in the club as the music caused the floor to vibrate. Currently four out of five nations that were there couldn't believe their eyes. Norway was dancing in the middle of the club and attracting everyone else's attention as well. The northern nation slowly ran his fingers down his sides seductively and stared intensely at the table his fellow nations were sitting at. When he began to take off his top, all of them burst into action

"Nooo!" Norway wailed as they pried him off of an unknown bystander whose face was the same shade as Spain's tomatoes. Managing to right himself, he laughed uncharacteristically before kissing Canada, Prussia, Iceland and Denmark before falling asleep cradled against Denmark's chest, as he immediately turned bright red.  
"Let's not mention this again eh?"  
The others nodded in agreement as they wildly signalled for a taxi

"Come on Norge! Just drink one! Then we can have a… private repeat of last time…"  
Denmark was sent to hospital with three cracked ribs, a fractured leg, a dislocated shoulder and a mild concussion after Norway was through with him.

**I don't own anything! This is for HetaliaFanGirl! Please review and I will post faster ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

_Arthur can find gay subtext in everything._  
_He's like, the Sherlock of gay subtext._

Arthur was laughing hysterically as the James Bond film played earning him a whole cinema worth of glares and angry shushes. All the other nations looked at him in confusion except for Hungary and Canada both of which were stifling their giggles. Russia was however probably looking confused as to why his chair was moving.  
"Dude? Why are you laughing?" whispered Alfred ignoring the old lady in front of them all who hissed 'Be quiet damn Yankees' at him. Arthur only waved a hand at him and continued to watch the film.

Arthur was absentmindedly flicking his way through a large book before pausing and bursting out into a fit of giggles.  
"What is so damn funny?!" bellowed Alfred waving his arms frantically.

**I'm sorry, I think this should have been up two days ago, but my email's been down for the past few days. Thank you all so much, I love you all!**


	5. Chapter 5

_England is in a knitting circle with Mrs Longbottom (Neville's grandmother). She's from an old wizarding family, after all, and England is very magical, so he knows all the old families very well.  
Through Mrs Longbottom, England knows Neville. And England just adores Neville. He loved him as an awkward kid, and always tried to cheer him up when he was lonely or feeling insecure. He acts like a proper doting spinster aunt towards Neville- baking him treats and knitting him ugly sweaters, and so on.  
As Neville grew up and became more awesome by the day, England was so proud of him. And then one day, England knitted Neville the cardigan that he was wearing in the final battle. They are now great friends._

Gran's friends were around again. Neville had made himself scarce down his own special part of the garden which was where he had all of his plants. Neville had always liked plants as they didn't judge him like most of his Gran's knitting circle. He knew this as sometimes he heard them talking and talking and not really knitting much at all. The only one who spoke up for Neville was his Great-Uncle Arthur, the sole male in the knitting circle.

Speaking of the devil… "Neville lad? Are you okay?" asked Arthur sitting carefully down next to him and pressing a sweet into his dirt encrusted palm as he did so.  
"Yes Uncle. It's just… Why does she hate me?"  
Arthur blinked in surprise and wrapped a careful arm around his shoulder as he gently asked, "Who lad?"  
Neville simply gazed up at him and returned to fiddling with plant shoot that was just peeking up from the ground between them.  
"It's your gran isn't it lad? Is this because she thinks you're a squib?"  
"I am a squib Uncle! That's why she and the other ladies hate me!"

It broke Arthur's heart to see one of his precious citizen's in so much pain when he knew he could stop it. And he had a soft spot for the clumsy, timid young boy. He had watched him grow up and become slightly more confident every year. And then Augusta had to rip that confidence away from him, she meant well Arthur knew by trying to get Neville to live up to his parents expectations but this was the wrong way to do it.  
"You're not a squib lad," he told the little boy instead rubbing soothing circles on his shoulders, "I can tell."  
Neville only sighed but leant into his favourite relative's warm embrace and popped the sweet into his mouth.

"UNCLE ARTHUR! UNCLE ARTHUR!"  
The door to the sitting room exploded open and an eleven year old Neville crashed into the room and into Arthur's lap dislodging the knitting. Arthur laughed with him and hugged him tightly.  
"Well done lad. Your parents would be proud!"  
"It's all because I'm wearing the scarf you made me!"

Neville was wearing one of his Uncle's creations every time something good happened to him so it wasn't surprising that they quickly became a good luck charm for him, even if they were frowned upon by the other purebloods. So when he heard that Voldemort was coming to the castle he knew that he needed to wear one. But he had none.  
"Hello lad! Thought you might need these."  
"Thank you Uncle Arthur!" Neville didn't know how Arthur Kirkland did this, but he was always there. And the scarf did keep his Luna safe during the battle.

**Hello my dears! It's rather sad, I think, that the prompt in this one was longer or about the same length as some of my drabbles but oh well ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

_England, Prussia and Denmark each have a scar down the palm of both their hands. This is because when they were young boys, they became blood brothers._  
_They're really close; even if people don't see it, and when they hang out, _  
_they are stupidest little dorks ever._

England, Prussia and Denmark were drunk. Normally this wouldn't be such a surprise but they were all sprawled out on England's floor with Gilbird peeping sleepily at them.  
"Guys? Ggggggguys? Do you 'member when we got these?" England slurred waving his hand in Denmark's face.  
"The awesome me remembers!"  
"Yay! Story time!" Denmark cheered and moved himself to sprawl across both England's and Prussia's laps. Prussia laughed once more drunkenly and leant backwards and stared at his hand as he began to tell the story.

Three small boys sat around a fire with its light reflecting off of their hair causing eerie shadows to dance behind them. They exchanged apprehensive but determined glances and gently reached out to take hold of each other's hands and turned them over so the smooth unmarked skin of their palms faced upwards. Denmark pulled out a small knife and glanced nervously at England who bravely nodded at him and Prussia gave them both a large grin. Six small stinging cuts later and their hands were tightly pressed together, binding them together forever.

"And that was how you two became eternal slaves to the _awesome_ me!"  
"Shut up Prussia!"

**Here you go my awesome reviewers and readers! This is for AFleetingPhantom who requested it! Usual rules for the postings of the next chapter apply ;)**


	7. Chapter 7

_ When 'The Angels Take Manhattan' was released, two of the ponds in  
England's garden dried up.  
He cried for three days._

England dug his fingers deeply into his palm and bit his left hand so deeply blood flowed down and trickled onto his clean trousers. 'I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not cry. Oh God, why?!'  
He curled up and pressed his face into the cushion of the couch until the urge to bawl like a small child subsided. However as images began to flick across the screen he quickly vacated the room.  
"A walk around the garden will calm me down," he muttered to himself as he pulled on his coat robotically.

It was a lovely day which was strange in England with the sun beating down. Arthur reflexively headed towards the two ponds in his garden that were situated next to each other. Upon reaching them he paused for a long moment and broke down into tears when he saw the dry, cracked mud that was there instead of the two shimmering surfaces that he expected to see.

"It'll be okay darling," Dylan crooned rocking Arthur gently backwards and forwards as his twin sobbed endlessly onto his shoulder, "It'll be okay."  
This went on for three days.

**Dylan is Wales which in my headcanon is Arthur's twin. For all the none Whovians out there, 'The Angels Take Manhattan' is when Amy ****Pond**** and Rory ****Pond**** die. I had to go around and ask a lot of my friends about that ;)**


	8. Chapter 8

8) _Russia is really good at playing the piano._

It was an old and honoured tradition in Russia's house. Ukraine would make the food assisted by Lithuania while Estonia would pick music to play on the old record player and would bring out old, yellowed sheet music and set it carefully on the piano. Latvia would set the table while Belarus would pick out everybody's clothes. And this night would be no different.

"Everyone! Dinner's ready!" Ukraine called and everyone carefully yet quickly made their way to the dining room. They all sat down at the table except for Russia who sat down at the piano. Trickles of beautiful music soon filled the air as well as happy chatter as they appeared to be to the world perfectly happy and whole.


	9. Chapter 9

9) _Denmark is the best cook of the Nordics. Finland and Iceland make very weird dishes, Norway can make simple meals but panics in the face of herbs and spices, Sweden can cook but not without attracting the police.  
…Denmark is very protective of the kitchen._

The whole situation that the Nordics would remember forever started off innocently enough. They wanted to cook something to celebrate Denmark's birthday so Sweden went first.

After the police had arrived and Berwald had been cautioned for the fifth time that month that he was not allowed to cook using explosives regardless of what they added to the flavour. It was Iceland's turn next. After Finland had finished being sick at the sight of a whole sheep's head on a plate and after Iceland had calmly eaten it, it was Tino's turn.

Norway refused to touch the Mämmi that Finland served leaving Sweden to try it. Sweden didn't emerge from the downstairs bathroom for the rest of the day. Then Norway tried. In his defence he managed to make a very good plain porridge but when confronted with flavouring, he freaked out.

"What the hell happened to my kitchen?!" Denmark bellowed staring in shock and horror at the complete mess the other three Nordics had made as Sweden was still recovering in the bathroom.  
And that was how all of them were banned from ever setting foot in Denmark's kitchen even on his birthday.

**I had such fun researching all the weird foods ;) Please review and suggest pairings for my other fic 'Imagine Your OTP' please? Also thank you to the person who suggested me to Noveljoy because of this fic!**


	10. Chapter 10

10) _Belgium has amazing facial expressions._

Sealand, Seborga and Wy all stared in fascination at Belgium as she told them a story to keep them from gate-crashing the meeting.

"Beautiful Bella how do you make your face do that?"  
She blinked at him in confusion before replying, "Face do what?"

When Sweden, Italy and Australia (who was still missing his trousers) returned to pick up their respective micro nations they found them pulling a variety of facial expressions as Belgium lay on the floor crying from laughter.

**I'm so sorry for taking so long! Hope you all have had an awesome Christmas though! ;) I sorta went into hibernation :') so... yeah...**

**Review please!**


	11. Chapter 11

11) _America can rap. But badly._

The phone was ringing. Canada only knew this because the light was flashing- any noise it may have been making was completely obscured. Sighing he made his way to over to answer it as Alfred wasn't about to as usual.

"Hello?" he yelled down the phone.  
"Birdie? Vhere ist the (slightly less awesome) Alfred?" Prussia yelled back.  
Matthew winced and dropped the phone in favour of covering his ears as Alfred's song reached a particularly fast bit. Staggering into the kitchen and nudging the phone with his feet he finally shut the door. He looked down at the phone and swore as the screen 'Call disconnected' flashed up. He quickly phoned him back to try and avert Prussia from declaring war on America.

"Guten Tag Birdie! Are you phoning ze awesome me from beyond ze grave?"  
"Non Gilbert!"  
"Then vhy was Alfred killing you?"  
"He was rapping!"

Hysterical laughter erupted from the other end of the phone and Canada hung up, relieved that that crisis had been averted. Now, how to get out of Alfred's house because America had barricaded the front door shortly after Matthew's arrival?

**Where have all my reviewers disappeared off to? T^T**

**If you've requested one, I will get around to it but please find how it is written on Tumblr in future because I've had to go through them all to find them :'(**


	12. Chapter 12

12) _When England forgets a word he just creates a new one._

"And that is why this spell would… would…"  
"Dude? Would what?"  
"Mum?"  
"Arthur?"  
"England?"  
"Maman?"  
"MUM!"  
"It would spaxalotal target our enemies!"

"Papa? I think Maman's gone mad!"

**Gah I'm so sorry for shortness of this one and the last couple of chapters T^T Forgive me? My muse sorta fled when I tried! **

**I may miss a few updates because I have exams coming up and I am reaching the end of my backlog so bare with me? :)**


	13. Chapter 13

13) _America hates Doctor Who._

America closed one eye in order to aim better. His target grinned despicably at him as they mocking posed. Pulling his arm back he threw. The dart embedded itself into the picture of the Doctor which was taped to the dartboard.

"AMERICA! WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?" England stared in horror at the dart riddled picture of his beloved Doctor that currently had a dart embedded in its eye.

**Once again, sorry for the shortness as my muse keeps playing up. I've got an exam tomorrow so any good lucks would really be appreciated! :)**


	14. Chapter 14

14) _Belarus and Russia sometimes have tea parties together. It's a mutual interest thing. Russia looks tiny when he sits on the little wooden stools.  
They drink tea Russian Style and chat about things. Ukraine stays out of these tea parties though, afraid that she'll ruin the bonding between her younger siblings. However, she will provide cake sometimes_

Normally when people thought of Russia and Belarus in the same room together, they pictured Belarus clinging to her 'beloved big brother' with hearts in her eyes as tears streamed down Russia's face as he fought to get away. Ukraine however, knew better.

She watched them secretly from the door as Belarus carefully carried in the teapot filled with concentrate tea and set it down in the centre of the crowded table. Russia walked in a few moments later carrying a tray with several pots and one teapot on it. This was placed next to the original teapot on the table.  
"Ivan," Belarus greeted Russia, hugging him gently, "I'm glad you could make it."  
"Natalia," Russia returned the greeting pressing a gentle kiss to her cold cheek; "I wouldn't miss it for the world."  
He kindly pulled out her stool for her and tucked it in as she sat down, looking exactly like a porcelain doll. He then sat down himself, causing him to shrink almost as true child-like happiness filled his face.

He reached out a giant hand and she placed the small, delicate cup into his scarred palm. It was placed down with extreme care and a small amount of concentrated tea was poured into the cup from one teapot, followed by a larger amount of hot water from the other and two spoonful's of raspberry jam and a teaspoon of lemon juice before the cup was passed back across the tiny table and a cup of black tea was poured for Russia himself.

"How are you Natalia?"  
"I am fine Ivan, and you?"  
"I am good. Are you wearing a new ribbon?"  
"I am! Thank you for noticing, it's from that new shop in Ukraine opposite the little shoe shop?"  
The conversation meandered on like this for a while before Katyusha entered the room with a small decorated plate piled high with mouth-watering cake.  
"Thank you big sister!" the two younger nations chorused smiling widely at her as she smiled back at them, her heart aching.

A few years later when Natalia was searching through Ukraine's desk for her favourite knife which had been confiscated she found a well-worn picture tucked into a drawer of her and Russia smiling and laughing at something over cups of Russian style tea.

**This is for ****_hetalia is LOVE (_**** as a thank you :) I hope you like it! **

**Also because my backlog is running out a bit and I don't have as much time, I'm changing my update schedule slightly. When I recieve a actual review (as in a comment about my work) I'll move forward the day I update this fic. Headcanon suggestions no longer cause me to update faster, but I do still accept them :) And on that note, Review?**


	15. Chapter 15

15) _One time when America and Canada got into a huge fight and America was at a loss for words, so he used the comeback, "I can't hear you over my freedom!", and then Canada looked him straight in the eyes and said, "Oh, what did you say? I'm sorry, but I couldn't hear you over the sound of my gays getting married." and Canada strutted away because America had no comeback for that._

When nations argue, it is always a truly nerve-wracking site to behold. The last time America and England argued everyone in the government building rushed down to the bomb centres and evacuated the city when America insulted England's cooking by shoving a French fry into Arthur's mouth. Afterward no-one was sure if the explosion was because it was American food or because it was a _French_ fry.

But when nations argue and there is no fear of war, the bets are on. This particular fight had been going on for about five minutes and the nations involved had yet to notice the steadily growing pile of money on the table, the slips of paper or the hoard of eager office workers who had nothing else to do.

Then it happened. Everyone watched as the cog wheels in America's head whirled and smoke could almost be seen pouring out of his ears as his jaw twitched frantically and Canada smugly grinned down at him using the few inches he had over America to radiate satisfaction.

"I can't hear you over my freedom!" was the comeback that shot out America's mouth. The entire office stopped breathing as all eyes turned to the quiet northern nation.  
Purple eyes met blue ones that were just beginning to have the fires of hope re-kindled in them… and smothered them with an Artic blizzard.  
"Oh, what did you say? I'm sorry, but I couldn't hear you over the sound of my gays getting married."  
And with that Canada strutted off and everyone saw him do so.

**Saw this one and had to write it! It just made me laugh so much!**

**To Guest: I love you with all of heart, thank you so much! Marry me? XD You gave me the loveliest review of my writing ever and were my 50th reviewer *happy dance* so in all honesty thank you.**

**Also a question to my English viewers are any of you going to Sunnycon in March?  
A question to everyone else: Do any of you have RP accounts on DeviantArt?**

**Remember to read and review if you want an update faster, and I am still accepting suggestions! :D**


	16. Chapter 16

16) _Denmark uses whale fat to keep his hair in place_.

"Pleasure doing business with you Mr Denmark. Though I am unsure as to what you need all this whale fat for."  
Next to Japan, Norway nodded and stared with his customary bored expression at Denmark.  
"For something… Okay bye!" Denmark yelled ushering them both out of the house and watched out of the window until they had left.

Breathing a sigh of relief, he picked up the barrel of whale fat and carried it into his bathroom where he poured the whole lot into a second barrel marked: 'Denmark's hair gel.' The others would never know.

**Electronic problems are a bitch aren't they? I was so scared that I'd lost all of these cause my computer crashed and had to be restored and everything T^T My muse deserted me as well so sorry about that**

**Review please? :)**


	17. Chapter 17

17) _England and Belgium are sassy best friends._

The small strange device blipped and the man's eyes widened as he surveyed the reading.  
"What is it sir?" his assistant asked him worriedly craning her neck to see over his shoulder.  
"These readings… They're over 9000!"  
She gasped. "Who could have such high sass readings?"

At the nearby café, England and Belgium both sneezed simultaneously before both bursting into giggles and resuming their conversation.


	18. Chapter 18

18) _Canada thinks maple syrup is too sweet but eats it anyway._

Canada idly stirred the maple syrup with his finger as the other nations chattered away across the restaurant table. It groaned with different foods from every country in order to stop another 'Great Food Fight of Berlin.' Berlin himself had nearly died from laughing at the look on Germany's face when Ludwig had come to his senses and saw the mess that had been created by all of the bored and sugar crazed nations (himself included).

He brought the maple syrup coated finger up to his lips and ran his tongue along it, unaware of the four pairs of eyes that intensely followed it. A tiny shudder ran up his spine as the familiar sickly sweetness coated his mouth. It was way too sweet for him to enjoy, but he carried on because of the little girl he met so long ago.

"Kanata!" came the voice echoing through the maple trees. Kanata just managed to turn around as he was tackled backwards by a little girl. She hung around his neck and managed to tug him back towards the village.  
"It's nearly time for the syrup to be ready!" she giggled, spinning in a circle and letting her skirts swirl around her.  
"I don't really like the syrup Nukka… It's too sweet…" he mumbled averting his eyes.  
"The syrup is a celebration that we are alive, that you are alive! It is a hope for a new year so enjoy it! Be happy and live! We live for you so you must keep living for us and everyone who lives in you!" she ranted waving her arms above her head knocking against a low hanging branch. She squawked as a pile of snow fell onto her head and the air was filled with the sounds of children laughing.

He breathed out a long slow breath and continued to eat the sticky syrup. He would continue to live for the little girl who had shaped his life, the life of her country, in a way she would have never understand or know.

**I loved writing this one! Nukka means 'younger sister' according to the internet but if I'm wrong please tell me! Also if someone could either message me with an obscure pairing and a few words that may kick start my muse, so it would really be appreciated! :) Reviews are always appreciated and headcanon requests are also accepted. :D Kudos to anyone who guesses who the eyes belong to!**


	19. Chapter 19

19) _Steve Irwin was Australia's idol._

Australia looked out as a tiny boy tossed chunks of meat to a snarling crocodile, laughing as he did so, unafraid. He turned back and waved happily to Bruce who grinned and waved back. Tilting his head back he murmured to the sky, "He's just like you…"

"Mate? Mate?! Are you okay?!"  
Bruce blinked at his startled citizen as he climbed out of the water shaking water from his hair like a dog. "Of course I'm okay mate! Why wouldn't I be?"  
The camera crew that he had just noticed gaped at him. One man had apparently fainted.  
"There's a crocodile attached to your leg," the man said slowly pointing.  
"That's just Shirley mate! She won't hurt me-" Australia trailed off as he got a better look at the man in front of him. "Mate, are you Steve Irwin?"  
"Yeah, I am."

And that was the start of a beautiful friendship/hero worship.

**Congrats to Anon who guessed correctly for the last chapter! :P Sorry for the delay. I had French exams and sorta crashed completely because of it.**


	20. Chapter 20

20) _Liechtenstein has a secret obsession with alt rock like Three Days Grace and My Chemical Romance_

Liechtenstein was doing a strange sort of disjointed dance around her kitchen as she made a strictly budgeted meal as Switzerland was coming over later. The music that was blasting from her radio was not what someone would expect when they looked at the petite girl nation who wore her purple ribbon religiously. Phrases from alternate rock songs filled the warm homely kitchen and Lilli waved her spoon above her head and sang along.

Barks from her dog alerted her to Vash's presence and she scrambled frantically to switch off the radio before he arrived. Quickly flicking her gaze around her room she sighed in relief, before hissing a breath in as her blue eyes landed on the TV screen '_Alternate Rock Guitar Hero_' flashed across the screen. Leaping over her couch she slammed her hand onto the power button of the remote… just in time. The door swung open and Vash was soon knocked over by a delighted Liechtenstein.

No-one would ever know her secret.

**I was waiting out the update problem so here you go! :D Please review and tell me what you think!**


	21. Chapter 21

21) _Even if they all have Tumblr accounts, the countries love being Anons and go to other blogs to submit/ask them in Anon_

The nation giggled as they scrolled down through the many, many Hetalia blogs before their eyes alighted upon a specific one. A truly terrifying grin spread across their face as they deftly navigated their way into the message box and began to type, double checking they were on anonymous. As they clicked the ask box, maniacal laughter bubbled its way out of his throat and echoed around the room. All he had to do now was to wait…

The next morning the quiet tapping of two sets of computer keys filled the peaceful morning air. Birds sang beautifully outside and a gentle breeze-  
"ARTHUR YOU LITTLE BASTARD!"

Sean poked his head out of the bedroom just in time for Arthur to sprint past his room closely followed by an airborne slipper, an airborne vase and a pissed off Dylan and Alasdair.  
Shrugging he closed the door again and curled back down in his bed. A muffled giggle from Patrick caught his attention however as Scotland and Wales finally caught up with the hysterically laughing England outside.  
He quirked an eyebrow at Patrick who passed him the laptop which was open onto the Tumblr inbox for the British Isles account.  
_To Scotland, Wales and the Republic of Ireland,  
I am slightly concerned with something I heard about all of you:  
Wales and Scotland, why do you shag sheep?  
Scotland and Ireland, why do you drink so much?_

"Aren't you offended about the drinking question?"  
"Why? It's true after all. Though you have to question the wisdom of the man who implies that the only person who can cook shags sheep."

**I loved writing this :P Updates will have to be on Sundays because I have exams galore coming up and I'm nearly out of backlog T^T Reviews are always appreciated ;)**


	22. Chapter 22

22) _Alfred is incredibly skilled with a gun. No matter who challenges him, he always comes out victorious_

Sergeant Phillip Colfer always considered himself to be one of the best shots in the army, so it was only natural for him to challenge the others on base to competitions. These competitions spread through word of mouth closely followed by stories of the things the loser were forced to do which ranged from basic chores to acts that were bordering on court martial.

Sergeant Colfer was feeling pretty pleased with himself as he reclined on his bunk as everyone was doing last minute checks and cleanings. He had heard someone from higher up was coming to inspect the ranks so he utilised his power and was currently having his other roommates doing all of his work for him. Everyone was expecting a stern faced middle aged man with a beard to emerge from the plane, so when a young man bounded down the ramp and flung himself enthusiastically at the General, hugging the stern man joyfully, you could have heard a pin drop.

"That kid's a high up? He looks like he couldn't even hold a gun!"  
"I can hold a gun better than you dude!"  
The yard grew even quieter as everyone's heads snapped between the beaming kid and Sergeant Phillip Colfer who had turned an unpleasant shade of red at this obvious challenge. Later soldiers nearer the boy would swear that the kid had muttered under his breath, "Can't have my citizens being rude, now can I?"

It was impossible for all of the solider to fit in the indoor shooting range so they all went to the outside range.  
"What's your name kid?" Colfer scoffed arrogantly as he chose his gun and loaded it.  
"My name's Alfred F. Jones dude!" he grinned making the peace sign with his hand as he did so, "Three shots?"  
Colfer nodded and took up position as hundreds of men and women fell silent to watch him.

**_Bang!_**  
X  
**_Bang!_**  
X  
**_Bang!_**  
A 9, making his score 29 points out of 30.  
Hushed whispers flew around the yard as the kid grinned and congratulated Colfer. Blue eyes sparkled mischievously as Alfred F. Jones took out his gun and fired three shots in a quick tandem, still looking straight into Colfer's eyes.

It was hailed as the greatest shooting completion ever and the target is still on display in the base, a single bullet hole in the centre of the X where three bullets passed through.

**I am incredibly proud of this one so watch as I don't receive many reviews for this one if it follows the same pattern. You lot are odd :P Also I'm putting a poll on my profile so it would really mean a lot if you would take it? I'm putting it up now because I'm a terrible procrastinater ) Whoever can guess where I got the two parts of Philip Colfer's name from gets their headcanon posted next or they can request a pairing k? **

**Please review :)**


	23. Chapter 23

23) _Norway sings in the shower. The only one who has heard him is Iceland, who has been sworn to secrecy & refuses to admit that Norway is an excellent singer._

Iceland was confused. A warm deep voice was echoing around Norway's house and Norway was nowhere to be seen. The Icelandic nation smoothly moved through the house with practised ease so after a few moments of quiet prowling he was standing outside the a jar bathroom door from which steam was billowing.  
"What are you doing?"

After Norway managed to remove Iceland from the tree where he had reflexively zapped him into, a swift promise was extracted to never mention the entire incident again.  
"C'mon Norge! Live a little!"  
"No."  
This was soon becoming a familiar sight amongst the Nordics though admittedly most of them were repulsed by how well Denmark could do 'puppy dog eyes' at Norway (and also how Norway could refuse them).  
Iceland spoke up quietly, "Big brother can't sing."  
It had the desired effect of Denmark abandoning Norway in favour of bugging Sweden. A look was exchanged and nothing more was said.

**My Norway muse was being very uncooperative and this was the best I could do. Add that with exams and my muse takes a holiday to Disneyland to recover T^T So yeah :P Out of curiousity did anyone wake up this morning and think 'Yay another chapter of SLH today'? I think I'll die if anyone does. Please take my poll? You lot will be the ones benefitting from it after all. **

**My 100th reviewer will get to request a pairing! There is incentive for you all! ;)**


	24. Chapter 24

24) _Liechtenstein is a champion at first person shooter games, but sometimes boys on Xbox Live make fun of her for being a girl and tell her to get back in the kitchen. When this happens, she will mercilessly kill them repeatedly, even using jerk moves like plasma grenades and spawn killing, until the game ends, at which point she will sweetly ask if they would like a slice of humble pie while she's in the kitchen._

Liechtenstein let an evil smile work its way across her face as the game field loaded to reveal a rocky plain with the harsh scream of bomber planes.  
_"Good job we don't have any girls here! Can you imagine how useless they'd be?"_  
Mocking laughter from _BestestEver _filtered through her headphones as Lilli's left eye twitched.  
"I'm a girl, you Dummkopf," she managed to snarl down her headphones and silence reined over the other players as they had recognised her username _AlpineRedRose1204_. She was regarded as the number one player in every single first person shooter game, so for a player to insult her and not be immediately repentant was terrifying to say the least.  
_"Go get your arse back in the kitchen girly. Like you could ever beat me in a __shooting__ game!_"  
"Do the rest of you mind watching this game and not spawning? I have something to take care of," she politely asked the others as her mind formulated battle plans courtesy of Germany and Prussia. She watched as _BestestEver_ spawned through her scope and shot him dead within two seconds.  
She then waited until he spawned again… and shot him. This continued for half hour as her earpiece was filled with the sound of howled swear words and hysterical laughter. Three plasma grenades later she let him spawn properly. His character took a single step forward and was killed by the mine she had planted there twenty-four spawning's earlier when she had grown bored.

Silence greeted her as the player's character reappeared in the spawning zone and the clock flashed as time ran out. "Would you like some humble pie while I'm in the kitchen?"  
"What are you doing?"  
"Guten Tag! I was just beating someone on Xbox Live!"  
She didn't think it was possible for Germany, Prussia or Switzerland to look any prouder than they did at that moment.

**Updates are going to have to be on a Wednesday. I despise French speaking assessments T^T Please take the poll on my profile?**


	25. Chapter 25

26) _Nation's body temperature is based off of the climate.  
If Norway had a temperature of 36 degrees Celsius it would be considered a fever even though that's lower than human body temperature while if Australia had a temperature of 39 degrees Celsius it would be totally normal and nothing to worry about."_

"I'm fine!" came the exasperated yell from the hospital room causing everyone to turn and look at the inconspicuous door which the unfamiliarly accented voice had blasted out of.  
"NO YOU'RE NOT!" came a more familiar voice.  
"You okay in there Sasha?" a slightly concerned nurse called from the front desk. A few seconds later a tiny whirlwind of loose blonde hair and swear words came storming out and flopped dramatically into a free armchair.  
"I don't understand it!" came the wail once someone had pushed a coffee into her grasping hand, "They should be dead with that temperature!"  
Inside the room, the bed was empty and a rope of bed sheets dangled forlornly from the window.

**I am a terrible writer! I'm so sorry but my muse for these has just fled. T^T I'm surprised it took so long to be honest. On a side note I have been trying to write Hetalia themed fairytales which is where my muse has gone to so would anyone like me to post them. And this deserves all caps:  
SUNNYCON IS TOMORROW! If anyone is going there, look for a Canada and that will possibly be me. Yell... I don't know 'marmalade' or something at me. I honestly don't care. (If anyone actually does this considering the majority of my views come from America I will be very surprised.))**


	26. Chapter 26

26) _When Prussia is home alone, he'll sing "Mein Gott" & "My Song Written by Me for Me" at the top of his lungs in only his boxers while using Germany's hairbrush __because he's too awesome to own a hairbrush __microphone. If someone walks into the house, he'll throw on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, throw the brush out of his room, run to his computer, and pretend he was on it the whole time. If it's Germany, he'll usually ask how his brush wound up wherever he found it & Prussia will usually reply, "I don't know. It must have been attracted by my awesomeness."_

Words were echoing out from Prussia's bedroom along with the creaking of bedsprings. The Prussian nation in question was screaming out accented song lyrics as fast as he could while jumping animatedly on his bed. A hairbrush was clutched in his hands and was acting as a microphone to the boxer clad albino. He almost didn't hear the front door open and shut softly or the clunking of Ludwig's military boots on the wood stairs, but as everyone knew, it was very hard to sneak up on any European nations. As fast as he could Prussia leapt off of his bed, creating an especially loud screech as the tortured bedsprings protested violently and flung the hairbrush so quickly at the opposite wall, it created a dent causing the footsteps to halt momentarily before they speeded up. Prussia yanked a t-shirt over his head, ignoring the fact it was on back to front and managed to pull a pair of sweatpants on while dragging his laptop towards him using his feet. He opened it and flopped backwards, positioning himself so the screen was away from the door and slipped a pair of headphones on.

Ludwig threw open the door, gun drawn and ready for a fight. What he was greeted with was a very angry look that was thrown at him by Gilbert, the bed looking very rumpled and his hairbrush imbedded in the opposite wall.

"Bruder? ...My hairbrush?"

Gilbert looked as nonchalantly as he could at the wall that now supported a new extension of a black, plain hairbrush. "It must have been attracted by my awesomeness. Now if you mind? GET ZE HELL OUT OF MEIN ROOM!"

**I honestly cannot apologize enough but unfortunately this author's note does not contain good news. Depending on what exam results I get tomorrow, this story will have to go on hiatus until my exams are over which is June. If I get good results I will update this story tomorrow. Please review? ^^**


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